Three Meat Pizza Review

Pizza Review - Clover Valley Three Meat Pizza

$1- Dollar General Grocery
400°f/15 minutes



I'll start off by saying that this exceeded my expectations. My expectations being dumpster smegma smeared across wheat based cardboard with a smattering of meats from questionable sources.

I started by opening the box and removing the pie from it's plastic encasing as directed by the box. The portions of topping seemed to be a bit more generous than the last single-serving frozen pizza I had about a decade ago.

I was curious as to how heat would make what was sitting in front of me look like what was pictured on the box. Into the preheated oven it goes, center rack. At the 13 minute mark, a quick glance revealed it needed another 3 minutes. At the 15 minute mark I checked again and it definitely looked like it was time to take it out, in fact it was starting to look like roadkill had climbed onto the rack. The color of the picture is fairly accurate as to what the general appearance was both before and after.

I let the pizza rest while I grabbed a soft drink and then went to work on it. I folded the pizza in half taco-style and committed myself to what I normally intentionally avoid. The pizza seemed a touch overcooked and I think that might have helped some. The taste wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. It is something I would expect to find at a remote truck stop, the reaches of which the taste of real food evades. I didn't look at the ingredients until after I had finished the pizza; I stopped reading after thiamine.

OCDC rating: Bottom shelf - worth one dollar; definately worth stocking the bomb shelter deep freeze with.